A Visit From Hana

Drove out to the country, the west side of the county. A confused weather day. Overcast but warm. We were gonna pick up Hana, Amber's cousin, at the house of their shared aunt. I had had ideas for other plans that evening, but I forgot about the visit from Hana. The kids are at their dad's for the weekend. We arrive in Espanola at the old boxy square country house with mentafacts and other articles about the door and side that would speak of America in a gone day. The house was probably nearly the same 10, 20, 50 years ago.

When we got out of the car I could hear rattling near the front door that spooked me in the darkness, but Amber was going around to the side. She knew the place like it was her home. She grew up next door where her parents still live. I was feeling like I was dreaming. Hana yelled from inside to come in when we knocked. The house was dark. So is Hana. Wooden, varnished wood, low lights, adjusting pupils and shapes in the dark. We found Hana in the better lit front room. She was messing with the locks on the front door. At first I thought she was still trying to get out, but she was locking up. The Aunt was in town.

This place is like a fort, she said as all shared greetings. I sat on the brown tweedy couch.

I thought that was the point of living in the country and having guns, so you didn't have to lock everything up, I snickered.

Oh there are guns everywhere, she said casually. I got a couple goosebumps and had an urge to look beneath the couch. I detoured this thought with picking up a book from the shelf, "Encyclopedia of 1977." It looked worn by time and browning, but never opened. I thumbed through as Amber and Hana launched into conversations on subjects between themselves. Stories and such mid-book that I could by no means catch up on as these two had grown up together. This was their theater. I was an extra with a cameo.

Hana returned attention to me for a moment and began a mini tour of the house, her old room, pictures of such and such, black and whites, Amber adding some details. Laughs and heads shaking adding to my disorientations. We were gonna pick up Hana and maybe do something together tonight - why are we still here?

Hana has a pale classic face. A '30s film star even. Dark eyes and dark hair of mixed dyes and various cosmetic experiments that came together. Big fake diamonds in her ears that fit, bright serious lipstick that might make you pucker in your sleep if dreamed of, and tattoos about her body peeking out here and there. I tried to place the shapes and letters without staring. Hana is a fruit that fell far from the tree. Figuratively and literally, She's visiting from Oregon, somewhere near Portland. She lives there now with her husband, an artist. Where Amber's part bohemian, Hana's part punk...but in a matured way somehow.

Aunt Ceil's got a thing for animated inanimate objects, Hana explained as I stared into the face of a plastic sewing kit/tool complete with moving eyes and mouth and made to look like it was part of a log and would open as a circle split thru the circumference. I followed them into the other room as the three of us had made a complete circle thru the house and were in the darkest part of the house again. Hana turned with a monkey puppet that began singing and I nearly screamed. I think she laughed or smiled, I think maybe they saw my freaked out face, I think it was a monkey, I can't be sure, it was dark.

I tried a rocking chair as they talked and saw "1873" on the stove pipe furnace in the living room. There were a string of lights colored white that could have been used for Christmas by a mirror in the center. The only light in the room. Now they were ready to go, just as I was nearly comfortable. I was ready for a seance.

C'mon, said Amber.

Shhh, just a second I said, listen.

There was nothing. No sound. None. I got up and left the chair. Maybe I would have a gun or two if I lived out there myself. Certainly the locks. I followed back out the side door where we came in and before we went down the platform,

Look! I said to the girls, the rocking chair is rocking itself!


We drove into town. I talk with Hana. But mostly she talks to Amber, and they whisper a lot. Girl stuff I know. Amber knows me well enough to baby me a bit though. She'll take little breaks from the chatter to rub my arm or pat my back, maybe a peck on the cheek. She spoils me with attention, I know this, but it's all a little unusual for our weekend without the kids. I sat in the back to be polite so they could talk. I think Hana thought that was weird. I think she likes tough guys. I've got that English respect for women that some American girls can't understand.

I said chatter before didn't I? That's the wrong word. That suggests something loose and reckless. Hana's not reckless. She's controlled. She's demure but still striking in appearance, aloof but sharp, and seems sophisticated in a low key way. She's lived in the woods, she's lived in the city. She seems to know more about me than I do. She replys to my statements as if to start arguments, but keeps communications. As if what she adds to anything is the last word, but doesn't need to make a point of it being so, it just is. She seems to read my mind. She seems to know of some weakness within me which I have not discovered. I feel childish around her sometimes, and she's younger than me. I need to travel more some day. But now I'm settling down.

She's the same age as Amber. She and I are on the same plane, we're getting along gloriously, for 7 months strait now. This maybe makes here old girlfriend suspicious? These two know each other inside and out, they've seen each other's boyfriends come and go. Is Hana on to something? Does she see something in the cards? Something Amber even is too in love to detect?

Shit, now I'm writing Soap Opera. That's not what I intended, I intended nothing though. I wanted to write about the last 12 hours for some reason and it came down to this. Well, Hana's still in town so maybe this is part one. The two of them went to the gym. I'm here alone now. We're supposed to go "out on the town" tonight. Just shoot some pool really. Last night we watched a movie together, well Amber fell asleep before the mid point. Too much Shiraz. It was only Hana and I at one point. At the end, when she spoke of the movie, it was as if it was the only and final review. We went to bed.

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