Tim, only you could love this story as much as I do...

Reuters) - The United States apologized on Friday for an experiment conducted in the 1940s in which U.S. government researchers deliberately infected Guatemalan prison inmates, women and mental patients with syphilis.

In the experiment, aimed at testing the then-new drug penicillin, inmates were infected by prostitutes and later treated with the antibiotic.

"The sexually transmitted disease inoculation study conducted from 1946-1948 in Guatemala was clearly unethical," Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius said in a statement.

Unethical? I'd have to say that's the understatement of a lifetime. Aside from inmates getting to bang a hooker, when a government deliberately infects inmates with syphilis, that usually will result in a conviction for crimes against humanity. What dipshit decides one day that this is will be a good idea? I've always heard that if you're unsure of whether or not you should do or say something, you should say it aloud to yourself. Then, you'll have a better idea of how it might sound or seem. Well, needless to say, the US didn't say this one out loud. They didn't even whisper. Holy crap, this seems not only amazingly stupid, but inhumane.

"Hey Bill, guys, gather round, I've got a great idea to help Bill with his syphilis. All we're need are some whores and some prisoners."

Survey Says...

This is one show that has always been hijacked by the biggest tool hosts of any game show in history, except for maybe, Alex Trebek, who according to the way he corrects people, no only speaks every language with perfect accents, he also knows the answer to every question that's ever been asked on Jeopardy. You know what Alex, I know you're reading the answers on those damn cards. Don't be so proud of yourself. Serious though, Family Feud has always been a wretched show, but I have to admit, this show hosted by Steve Harvey wouldn't be that bad. This is one funny damn video.

Cobra McJingleballs...are you effing kidding me?

Justin Murdock, billionaire Dole Food heir and Hobbit Avril Lavigne's ex-boyfriend—faces a sexual harassment suit for calling an employee a "whore," telling her to suck his * & % $, and requiring her to start a Facebook account for him as "Cobra McJingleballs."

The 38-year-old billionaire has a reputation of being an A-Hole, and being a socialite with young people in Hollywood. Carissa, the former director of corporate development has accused Justin of the following:

* Forced her to open a Facebook account for him under the name "Cobra McJingleballs" and which was filled with graphic images including a minstrel-show actor in blackface and an old black-and-white photo of men dressed in Ku Klux Klan robes.
* Told her, "You look like a whore" and said, "What you need is a good pounding." Murdock also allegedly showed her a pornographic film and said, "You know you love it," told of his sexual exploits in graphic detail and simulated sex acts at meetings.
* Demanded she buy flights and hotel rooms for young "interns" he planned to feature in ads for NovaRx.
* Defined her job as being "under my desk [bleep]ing my [bleep.]"
* Threatened her life, saying, "If NovaRx fails, I'll put you at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean in concrete boots."

I gotta tell you...if these allegations were directed at anyone else, I would say he/she will have the book thrown at them; however, when you're a billionaire and you open a facebook account that reads Cobra McJingleballs, you might be the biggest bad ass on earth. I'm not trying to be insensitive, but sexual harassment does not exist for a guy like this. Death threats...whatever. This story is far and away the greatest thing I've read in 2010. It's essentially not even close.

Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break - Shakespeare

One of the saddest days of my not-so-young life came today when Heidi Klum announced that she and Victoria's Secret were parting ways. For 13 years Heidi has been the catalyst for my immature, insensitive, demeaning and objectifying sense of humor regarding supermodels. Inspiration, I feel, only comes around like this once in a lifetime. Heidi has not only selflessly given to me and Mr Down South, but scores of innocent and thirsty others, hope and resilience. Moving forward, I simply cannot think of life with Victoria's Secret as my muse, inspiration, and emotional compass, without Heidi Klum. Being the "Head Angel" as she was, requires responsibility and fortitude at a level most young models cannot aspire. Many of you are probably staring at your screen in disbelief, wondering what's so special about this German girl from Bergisch Gladbach. Well, stop projecting you selfish bastards. Let's take a moment of silience.......






How dare you blaspheme. Where will this lonely and lost periodical go without the navigation of German beauty and perfection? I ask you, where will they find the next "Head Angel?" If you irresponsible blow hards tell me Gisele Bundchen, I hate you more than cancer. In fact, I've seen more feminine features at drag shows. Right now, as my cursor races across an empty tear soaked screen, Tom Brady is more effeminate than his supermodel girlfriend. So, don't you dare tell me about what drives the spark for the most influential mail order magazine in the history of man. I want to go on...I want to extend a helping hand to others hurting like I am hurting, but I simply cannot allow my ego to write checks my body cannot cash. It may be days, it may be weeks before my words find you again. Alas, I will end this entry with Shakespeare, just as I started it, "Farewell, fair cruelty.”

History of Rap...Fallon, bless his heart, should've called in sick.

I've used this forum to reveal my mancrush for Timberlake many times, but damn this dude is cool. Yeah, I know he's kind of a nerd, but he could have get more ass than a truck stop toilet seat. If any dude says they wouldn't love to hang out with this dude and crush beers on a Friday night, they're lying like hell. Aside from Cameron Diaz, JT kills hot chicks. He's my idle. What? Why are you looking at me like that? So what if I'm cutting out his old pictures from Teen Beat. Doesn't everyone?

Sexual Predator. Allegedly.

Eddie Long, illegal steroid user/Mr T impersonator/facebook self pic master/pedophile/homophobe/Bentley owner/pastor of the New Birth church in Atlanta, has landed himself in an underage homosexual sex scandal. The mega church which had about 300 members when he took the helm in 1987, has grown to nearly 25,000. Since that time though, Long's lifestyle has significantly ameliorated. So much so, he now pimps a private jet, a monster house, and like a million cars. Unfortunately for Long, he also seemed to be pimping a few underage male members of his congregation. Recently, these young men have come forward with allegations of wrongdoing, and when I say wrongdoing, I mean they accused him of blowjobs and buying them lavish trips and gifts in exchange for, well, more blowjobs. One of four young men accusing a prominent Georgia pastor of sexual abuse describes in an interview with the Atlanta Fox affiliate a love-hate relationship with a man he once called "daddy."

The alleged victim, Jamal Parris -- speaking out for the first time since the men's civil lawsuits against Bishop Eddie Long -- told the TV station he joined Long's New Birth Missionary Baptist Church as a 14-year-old with no father figure. He said Long wanted Parris to call him "daddy" and to trust him with spiritual guidance.

Now Parris calls Long a "monster." He claims in his lawsuit Long used scripture to justify sex and lavished the boys with money, cars, jewelry, trips in his private jet and even homes -- sometimes with funds from the church coffers.

"You finally have a father that you've always wanted for and always dreamed of," Parris said. "He would just walk away from you if you don't give him what he wants. So you end up turning into something you never thought you would be, which is now a slave to a man that you love."

Long, through his lawyer, has called the allegations in the lawsuits false. Parris says it is all true.

"The man turned his back on us when he had no more need for us," Parris said. "That's not a father, that's a predator."

Here's a few of the allegations surrounding this awesome story.

Long went after Robinson started at age 15, even putting him on the church payroll.
• Among the fabulous destinations Long visited with the boys in tow: New York City, Auckland (for Robinson's 18th birthday in 2008! where they allegedly had oral sex!) and Turks and Caicos in the Caribbean islands. Though Flagg and Robinson went on trips separately, they often flew on Long's private jet and stayed in his hotel bed.
• Long bought Flagg a Ford Mustang as a gift. Long drives a Bentley himself. HE IS A PASTOR!
• There were also cash gifts, clothes, jewelry and "access to celebrities."
• There are emails, texts, and photos exchanged between Long and his victims, says their attorney. I'm sure there are also flight itineraries?
• Long would check into hotels under the name "Dick Tracy." Not a joke.
• Much of the sexual contact took place at Long’s "guest house" on his own property.
• Long was a fan of "sexual touching." So far there are reports of Long going as far as oral sex, but nothing involving the backdoor

Does anyone out there have a pastor that does illegal steroids? Does anyone have a pastor that puts on skin tight muscle shirts and takes cell phone pics of themselves in front of a mirror? Does anyone have a pastor that does all this and then denies having anything to do with these heinous allegations? Does anyone have a pastor that isn't a Bishop, but anoints himself one and goes by the name Bishop Eddie Long? I hope not because any one of these things would be enough to run like hell from this church. It's beyond creepy. Undoubtedly, this is probably a shakedown of epic proportions, but you can't deny where there's smoke, there's fire. Is he guilty of everything these nincompoops and/or victims allege? I doubt it, but I bet a lot of it is true. I don't trust any pastor that drives a car that no one else in his congregation can afford, that uses the church to buy a private jet to galavant around the globe, or live in a massive mansion while others in his flock are in economic peril. If you made me put odds on the accuracy of this story, I'd have to say 85% true just from the stupid gay picture from above.

Awww...did the boogie man come in your room wittle boy?

Am I the only person that finds this picture incredibly creepy? I swear it looks like a little boy sleeping in his Transformers Tent Bed being kissed goodnight by his mother. Good for her, but Ashton, come on bro. She lost her virginity to like Rob Lowe in 1983 while the theme to Chariots of Fire was playing. You were 5. I guess it's none of my business what you do, but please stop your Twitter pics because I'm a little freaked out.