Can't say I didn't tell you so...

Megan Fox was photographed over the weekend in Hawaii. Let's just say, I know now why she relies on photoshop. I'm not sayin' but I'm just sayin' that there's a good chance this is a 14 year old boy's body with a Megan Fox mask on. When you see this chick in GQ and such, sure she's sexy. But, not here. There's nothing sexy about these pictures. Nothing. These are so-called rare candids. It's no wonder this chick never leaves the house. Pale as a ghost and about as curvy as a ruler on Viagra. As if these photos didn't do enough to dispel the myth that she's the sexiest woman alive, Brian Austin Green was in most of the pictures I refused to post. The evolutionary reason behind men never marrying the girl that's easy to sleep with is because it's mother nature's way of telling them they can have better. Evolution's other, more obvious way of letting you know you can do better...her prior boyfriend was Brian Austin Green.

Happy Birthday, My Love...

"Within you I lose myself
Without you I find myself
Wanting to be lost again."

Heidi Klum turned 37 today and boy has it been difficult on us. We both appreciate the cards and the flowers. Despite the stressful day, we've spent most of this beautiful Tuesday, reconnecting (wink). I did make her aware of how superficial I am and how her aging will not be ignored by her superfluous bank account. Looks matter. What? She's getting a little flabby. She knows it. Anyway, I've got to run...Marissa is Skyping me.

Reasons South African World Cup will be a disaster.

1. Muslims.
Islamic extremists will be frothing at their mouths with so many infidels gathered in such close quarters. Obviously, South Africa is unable to thwart an attack.

2. HIV
11% of all South Africans are infected with HIV/AIDS. If I were going, which I wouldn't, but if I were, but there's no chance in hell, I would wear one of those full body condoms from Naked Gun

3. Xenophobia
"The word is that criminals want to make cash to spend during the World Cup. This is their chance. The attacks are picking up. Things are getting worse," he said. Foreign shopkeepers, most of them Somalis and Bangladeshis, have been murdered in their hundreds in South Africa over the past 10 years. In Eastern Cape, the Daily Dispatch has written amazing exposés about the fear in which foreigners live. I have heard young men talk about how vulnerable the foreigners are. Because many of them are in the country illegally, they do not have the paperwork to open bank accounts, the thugs reason. That means that they have a lot of cash on the premises. They are unarmed and the community around them is too scared to come out and help them." The thugs attack them because they are thought to have cash and because they are foreigners.
WOW....this sounds fun for innocent soccer fans!

4. Rape
According to a survey for the period 1998–2000 compiled by the United Nations, South Africa was ranked first for rapes per capita. One in three of the 4,000 women questioned by the Community of Information, Empowerment and Transparency said they had been raped in the past year. More than 25 per cent of South African men questioned in a survey published by the Medical Research Council (MRC) in June 2009 admitted to raping someone; of those, nearly half said they had raped more than one person. Three out of four who admitted rape attacked for the first time during their teens.
South Africa has the highest incidences of child and baby rape in the world.

5. Racism
Nearly a decade and half after the end of apartheid, South Africans are beginning to face up to the fact that they have a present problem with racism in that country. This is not to say that most regular citizens of South Africa have not always been aware that they have a problem with racism.
What has brought the problem to the fore this time is a series of racial incidents that followed one on the heel of the other in February. One of the incidents is a racist video shot and distributed by some white students of the University of the Free State. The video showed the students’ ritualized humiliation of four black laborers employed by the university, including allegedly secretly urinating in food that laborers had to eat.

This should be an awesome World Cup.

It was just a matter of time...

About three years ago, Tom Cruise lost his mind on Oprah's couch. It was almost career suicide. Almost. Well he's back. Tom Cruise is simply one of those people that have "it". Even when you want to hate him, you can't. His new movie with Cameron Diaz will be a smash hit. HUGE. Until then though, he's gonna spend some time reprising his role as Les Grossman, from Tropic Thunder for the MTV movie awards. If you don't think this character is brilliant, you're a pitiful excuse for a human being.

MTV Shows

MTV Shows

Beach House

I'm In Love. With what - not sure, but sure of something akin while listening to Beach House.

HWY 301: Wide Open Road

An old video by the Triffids, a little known Australian group that surfaced in the early eighties and whose vocalist seems to have absorbed an obvious Brian Ferry M.O.

Also some recent photography of Highway 301 which runs through my hometown in Florida and up through North Carolina. These were taken in early May after my trip home, as I came back to Bragg as the sun went down. The video and pics seemed to go well together as a blog.


A singlewide and my shadow.

A red truck that reminds me of Leo in the early nineties series Twin Peaks.

Truck trailers.

The impressionistic solid center/outer smear effect in most of these pictures I discovered while in Iraq, taking shots of the landscape from the back seat of a speeding humvee. I pick a subject in the center and try to hold a point, moving the camera on an imaginary axis as I go by. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, this is one that worked well, a house and van along 301.

White house and white wild flowers on the lawn.

Distant fixture, swirling fields.

Yardsale

Powerline

Mile 33

Dog in the driveway.

A near empty BP station.

An All American Amber Field.

Steve Blake, I mean Robby Bostain, wins a championship

Robby Bostain, the taller, less predatory less lion-like brother of Chris Bostain, I think, according to the video at least, won a championship somewhere in Europe. The crowd is wicked excited, but unless you're one of the 7 people in the world that still speak Dutch, I can't understand a damn word this play-by-play guy is saying. Props to Robby though, despite what he's listed at (cough) 6'6", his realistic 6'4" seemed to rise into the rafters on that dunk. WHAT?!? NO?!?! Ok...maybe not in the rafters, but that's two dunks any way you slice em. Congrats to Robby and the rest of the Gasterra Flames for a great season. I'll leave you all with a little advice, though. Save your money. No seriously. SAVE. YOUR. MONEY. When playing ball tax free is over, Obama will take your money before you get through customs.