Monday, October 11, 2010
Jennifer Aniston will ruin your life.
After 11 years of marriage and bearing the burden of having self loathing misery addict Jennifer Aniston ride you like a fair pony, Courtney Cox and David Arquette separated. I was naive enough to believe this Hollywood couple would actually last, but if I had just considered how closely Jennifer Aniston is to them, I would've known their marriage was doomed like Pamela Anderson's liver. Jennifer Aniston is the luckiest person in Hollywood. The only reason she ever became famous was because a brilliant group of writers and producers caught lightning in a bottle and developed one of the greatest shows in the history of television. Think about it, at the time, dip shit Schwimmer was the biggest star on the show...that is until Aniston married Brad Pitt. At that point her career took off. When she finally drove him into the arms Jolie, Aniston's career and personal life started a downward spiral that could rival Enron. She's such a Ba-Ba Blacksheep, if I passed Aniston on Sunset Blvd, I would expect to be possessed by some satanic murderer that sings that Rolling Stones song, "Time is on our Side" like that Denzel Washington movie that scared the hell out of me.
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